Change
by Adin Terim
Summary: A little look in on the thoughts of someone that is going to be changed, turned into something else. Pokémon TF fic, rated T for swearing.


It was your choice and you just _can not_ change your mind. You can not, no you _will not_ drop out of The Program now. You've seen the others come in, some with heads full of misconceptions about The Program only to drop out. They were only thinking about the product, the god-like goal of The Program, but not about the consequences from the _change_ nor about what happened to last batch of 'volunteers'. That in itself almost scared you away from The Program, but you knew someone would need to do the job and it might as well be you.

Many of the others were taken away, their sanity shattered from the training to strengthen their minds, broken after one dream eater to many. You were a part of the select few that learned to mold impenetrable fortresses to contain your mind, withstanding mental invasions from the ever so skilled alakazam and nightmare inducing gengar.

It frightens you sometimes thinking about the others that went before you. The Program and its scientists have the physical aspect down perfectly now, not a bone or muscle out of place, but the minds were destroyed during the _change_. Leaving but empty shells, perfect bodies with no thought. Some days you wondered what would be worse, losing your mind or keeping it intact in trapped in a body that is foreign and woefully incomplete. To be able to understand the world around you unable to move and just waiting to be euthanized, at least with the loss of your mind you would no longer have to deal with anything. You take a perverse pleasure in knowing that by the time you volunteered the problems of the body were already worked out and you would not have to be one of the ones to deal with that.

The mental training was all but a stepping stone for the next part of the preparations. Torture training. Learning how to keep your wits under pain, they said that this was part of the reason that what happened during previous trials happened. Broken bones, scalding water, and flames are all inflicted upon you in the name of keeping you sane. Later the alakazam is brought back with orders to once again invade your mind while you are being inflicted with various pains. By the time the training is finished there are only three of you are left; the only ones able to keep your mental wall up during the pain, the only ones able to survive hell. They told you that you are only one that will be able to continue and have the opportunity to experience the _change_, and that the other two are unfortunately no longer sane enough to continue and you are. This is something that you are beginning to doubt, as how can you be sane if you choose to continue willingly participate? But you pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind, walling them off as this is your choice, your duty and you are going to continue along with The Program even if it kills you.

They tell you that it is time; the day has finally come for you to step into the machine. Time to see if the mental training has paid off and if the process is finally complete, to see if The Program has finally stepped into the realm of the gods. You are injected multiple times, each with a different chemical for a different purpose. Anesthetics to numb your body, mind altering drugs to counter the effect of the anesthetics to help keep mind sharp, and others to help the _change._ As numbness spreads throughout your body, a tingling sensation can be felt almost as if ice is flowing through your veins. Time seems to slow as the one of the drugs cross the blood-brain barrier doing its work. Your mental process will be greatly enhanced, but it has the dangerous possibility of overworking your brain. Usually the illegal drugs that speed up mental processes would not be touched at all, but they say it should help you keep yourself. All of this in preparation for when the machine _changes_ you.

As you step into the machine you can hear some of the scientists offering words of support and luck, but all you can do is think of what life will be like after this and if it will be successful. When the machine turns on a hum fills the air and then, then all you can think of is the pain. It takes an extraordinary amount of effort to keep yourself as the unimaginable pain fills your body, as you feel yourself beginning to _change._

* * *

I've sort of been on a pokémon transformation fic reading binge and I was inspired to write this. A little look at something ... I couldn't quite get what I imagined in my head onto the page, but it is close enough. Also written in second person because I am crazy like that. Tell me what you think or if you see any errors.


End file.
